I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
