The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
