I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i will never coherently bang her
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize