That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
