mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
