the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize