it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
