wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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