I like my sex mixed with concussions.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
