I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
