am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
