I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
