Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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