But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
