I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Found your dick twin last night
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
