Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
