This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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