you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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