I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
