cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
