Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize