ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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