He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
