i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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