I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
