So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
