ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
