Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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