So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
