i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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