I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
