Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
