I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
