just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I intend to get homeless drunk
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
