oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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