somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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