fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
