dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
