Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
