yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
