these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
