you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
How external is "for external use only"?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
