And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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