and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
