DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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