In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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