Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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