Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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