I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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