The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
