I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
