K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I wish I only lived at night.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
