I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
