As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
