I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
